Without you, no day is possible.

Today is the third day of my graduate school. As an International student with no background in Speech Pathology, the courses are overwhelming for me. I literally had the thought of quitting from time to time. Everyday I am facing new changelings: schoolwork is hard, sometimes I don’t even understand what the professor is talking about…lots of reading and medical terms; American life is way too expensive, I have already used up my monthly expenses which is not much…I am stressed and worn out. I miss my family back home, I miss the children I worked with…I miss the happy days when I go to work each morning with joy and hope and no worries…I miss the circle times I led with my kids, I miss teaching them math, songs and life skills…I miss their smiles. Those fun and awesome memories…

Each time when I am reading the hard and long academic materials, which usually takes me 50 mins per article, I really want to quit and lie down. I studied hard in China and did have problems, but it is the very first time that I am exposed to so many terms I have NEVER heard of before. Speech Pathology is too new for China… What makes me continue is the reason WHY I came here. I saw the pictures of my special needs kids in the orphanages, I remembered our worship, our days of prayers, HIS promises; I saw my parents they are working extremely hard for my tuition fee regardless of their health condition, and they trust me even though they don’t understand…I am not exaggerating---that’s what make me move on each day.

American life is not as ideal as most Chinese imagine. I can’t afford most of the things, I have to really live by myself, to adjust and learn. Time is money and I don’t have either one.

I don’t know whether you are able to relate to me. I need to ask for help all the time, and being a “slow” student as I have never been back home in China. I miss the carefree days, though it was also hard but at least I don’t need to worry about school, about feeding myself, and about the tight budget.

But I AM SURE FATHER IS WITH ME. He is right by my side.

There are MANY things I feel thankful to, even though the time is hard. People generously supported me and helped me with part of my financial problem. My program partner and her roommates are the sweetest girls I have ever met in Memphis: they carpool with me and care about my daily needs even though we have just met. Professors are nice and one professor even lent me his book (although it is as huge as a dictionary).Friends introduced me to different churches and we studied the book together…Without God, these things are IMPOSSIBLE. I hardly dare to imagine my days without HIS provision.

This is the time when God want me to know Him more, to TRUST HIM AND SEEK HIM MORE!!!

“Where you go, I go; who you serve, I serve…” That’s the reason why I left my family and came to this land to study and fulfill my dream. I took the risk of being in debt, but I will receive more in YOU. “The Spirit of God came on Azariah son of Oded. He went out to meet Asa and said to him, ‘listen to me, Asa and Judah and Benjamin. The LORD IS WITH YOU when you are WITH HIM. If you SEEK him, he will be FOUND by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”  ---2 Chronicles 15:1,2

Please pray for me and my parents. Pray that I am constantly restored in HIS presence, pray that my father’s spinal problem will be healed supernaturally, pray that my parents can rest and rest in HIM.

It is because of the passion for the kids in China that I applied, being accepted, raised money, and settled down in Memphis. HE is the one who brought me here. Not the university or the pilot. HE DID AND PROVIDES.

FIX MY EYES ON JESUS.