He cried after reading the note. God, tell us what should we do and pls comfort my mom.

Today is another similar day. I gave the nurse my note and she read it to him. However, different than before, my grandpa cried heavily. He was emotional at that point. I don’t know which sentence made him cry but as he cried my heart hurts as if a blunt knife is cutting it.

Here is the note:

My dearest grandpa, Joanna comes to see you again! We all have confidence in you, so never give up! There is no fear in love! (1 John 4:18) We all love you! The doctor says that as long as you are with the assistant of the ventilator, you are not in life danger! So you are recovering! Have patience and faith! Moreover, we all care about you and there are so many people praying for you! God is taking care of everything! The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace. (Psalms 29:11). I love you!

When he got the note, he insisted to read it by himself even though he can barely move his hands. He shed tears. The nurse was touched and she kept comforting him. Moreover, the nurse opened the door secretly and asks me to say something to him. (We still cannot see each other). As she opened the door, my mind was in totally blank. I don’t know what to say and I forgot all the dialect. Finally, I said to him: “Grandpa, you will be fine. I am doing well on my study and you don’t need to worry about me. Have confidence and cooperate with the doctors. We will be fine.” When I went out, I saw my mom crying and because of that everyone was shedding tears, so did I.

God, I don’t know what is your purpose, but I trust in you. Please, please comfort my mom since she has not yet accept you and I know her heart will break if my grandpa passes away. I know God is doing all things for our good. But please give me wisdom and courage when sad things happen. Send me where you need me.

I will have to head for Shanghai on 29^th. April and have a hard, expensive, important interpretation exam on 30^th. April. I did not prepare it as intense as usual. (You know, I can have a tight schedule all about exams but this time I did not, which is not my style.) But everything is on God’s hand. Let God give me the result. I really don’t have any clues now and finally I knew what does “FULLY RELY ON GOD” means---is to give up my jurisdiction and always only trust in God. Moreover, I will probably change my plan which was to go back to school after the exam. I will go home and accompany my parents, to face whatever happens together.

Besides, we are facing a tight budget now. Please pray for us…My aunt in law tried to convince my mom to give up treatment in these sentences: “Our father is too old (87) and we are spending thousands of money everyday for no good result. Even if he is able to recover, he might only have at most 10 years to live. What about us? We are poor (they are all lay-off) and we have so many months waiting for us to feed.” These sentences are tough but realistic. To do or not to do? That’s a question. God, please show us the road!

人心筹算自己的道路。惟耶和华指引他的脚步。

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.    ---Proverbs 16:9